Scotland vs Wales
This is the second in my series of almost-liveblogs on the Welsh rugby team’s campaign in the Six Nations tournament. As always, I’m ably assisted by WYWG special-correspondent Tom, whose contributions will look [almost precisely like this].
I’m watching this game a few hours late on BBC iPlayer. There doesn’t seem to be a download option for some reason, so I’m streaming it. Hope my shoddy Virgin Media connection holds out for the entire match!
There’s no preamble, the footage starts only seconds before Parks kicks off for Scotland. The ball hasn’t even come down again before the picture stutters and then freezes for the first time. This could be a long evening.
Your commentators are Andrew Cotter and Jonathan Davies. [Your welsh inside centre is also Jonathan Davies. Crazy!]
The teams kick it back and forth a few times to start the match. Scottish line-out.
Jamie Roberts picks up the ball after Scotland lose it, and gains about 10 yards. That’s already an improvement on last week!
Wales lose their first line-out. [That’s exactly the same as last week!]
Paul James charges down a Parks kick, but fumbles the ball when he tries to pick it up. Scottish scrum. Wales win it against the head, and Roberts touches the ball again. The Welsh attack looks 100% improved over last week, but the Scottish defence holds. And then it doesn’t. Hook pierces the line, passes to Shane Williams, who falls over, but makes it over the line nonetheless. Hook makes the kick. [Ah, that was lovely. Playing what’s in front of you. Well done boys. 50 points please.]
Scotland 0 - 7 Wales
[JD1 says that the try was all about Hook’s “scanning” skills - by which I think he means his ability to look at things with his eyes.]
Wales win a line-out. Phillips fumbles it at the base of the ruck and Scotland attack, but they knock it on. Roberts EATS Max Evans in a tackle, and Wales have an attacking scrum on the 10m line. I’m not being metaphorical. He literally ate him and then dabbed at the corner of his mouth with a napkin.
While we wait for Hook to take a penalty, the BBC show a replay of the Wales try. Does Shane wear plimsolls when he plays international rugby? He certainly slips over a lot. Hook makes the kick.
Scotland 0 - 10 Wales
15 mins in it’s been all Wales so far. Even when Scotland have actually had possession they’ve given it away immediately.
The good thing about Phillips, even when he’s out of form, is that because he’s so big, when Ryan Jones picks up from a ruck and drives into three Scottish defenders with no other forwards anywhere near, he can pile in there and prevent the turnover. If only he could pass a ball without first running 10ft sideways, too. [Being able to kick would be nice too.]
Another Scottish penalty for something or other.
Scotland 0 - 13 Wales
Jonathan Davies jinxes it by stating that Wales are in complete control. [They do undeniably have their dander up here though. They are scoring with practically every visit to the Scottish 22.]
Southwell runs into a mid-air Byrne as the Welsh fullback leaps for a high-ball, and receives a face full of boot for his sins. The ref, George Clancy, shows pity as Southwell is walked off the pitch with blood pouring out of his cheek, and doesn’t yellow card him for the dangerous play. Sean Lamont comes on as a blood substitute.
Scotland are penalised again at the breakdown, and Clancy gives them a warning for the repeated offences. [No warning though, it would seem, about the stupidity/illegality of tackling with your face.]
Scotland 0 - 16 Wales
Andrew Cotter is an annoyingly competent broadcaster. Jonathan Davies is good too, although impartiality isn’t his strong point. [Agreed—AC is very even-handed. How does he do it? I’d be absolutely livid by now if I was a Scotland supporter.]
Phillips knocks on a high ball [As in “see it in your nightmares” knock-on an easy take bouncing it straight to oppo on the charge.] and all of a sudden Scotland are attacking. Bradley Davies is yellow carded for kicking the ball out of the ruck in an attempt to stop the try. Scotland don’t start the sin-bin period well, though, wasting their first attack. They attack again, though, spinning the ball out wide to Max Evans, who is tackled very high by Lee Byrne, drawing boos from the crowd. The attack continues for another minute or so, and then Clancy calls it back and Byrne receives a card. Jonathan Davies (a Welshman) thinks the referee is being inconsistent, citing his handling of Southwell’s play earlier. I (also a Welshman) agree with him. Poor refereeing. That tackle was pretty flagrantly high, though. Either way, Wales are down to 13 men. [And they were both yellows, it’s just that it should be 13 v 14. Anyway. Oh bugger… And also, Lee Byrne is a berk.]
Parks kicks a high cross-field ball. Nikki Walker “uses his height” to beat Shane Williams to the ball. Little Shane doesn’t even actually try to challenge for the ball, and just waits for Walker to come down so he can get tangled up in his legs. [Small wingers, know your limits!]
Scotland give away a penalty, and Wales kick for safety. After the line-out, Lydiate fails to release the ball after a tackle. Parks makes the long kick.
Scotland 3 - 16 Wales
Parks tries another cross-field kick. Kelly Brown taps it back, line-out style, to Lamont. Nifty. In the next phase, Ansbro knocks on a pass though, and the pressure on Wales is relieved. [To be fair to Ansbro here, the pass was fired directly into his face from short range. Soft hands and the Scots appear to be distant strangers today. Also let’s not forget that Joe Ansbro was so poor growing up that they couldn’t even afford all the consonants for his surname. Poor lamb. (WYWG: He’s missing several vowels, too, by my count. Imagine my surprise when I double-checked my, much longer, spelling against the team sheet.) ] And then Wales are back up to 14 men.
After a few more minutes of not much happening, Byrne comes back on, too, to a smattering of boos. [That is fully appalling from Scotland. They have made an absolute dog’s dinner of their 12-13 minutes of numerical advantage. Good.]
Stoddart suplexes a Scottish player, and this enrages Ryan Jones for some reason. He rolls around on the floor for a bit with a couple of Scottish players. Davies says that no-one will throw a punch because “there’s so many cameras.” [That’s CCTV Britain for you…]
When they finish, Wales give away a long penalty (52m). Parks slips over as he tries to kick it (daps—they’re just not a good choice for field sports) and it’s half-time.
Half-time score: Scotland 3 - 16 Wales
Stats!
Scotland have had 52% of the possession, 56% of the territory, and won the ball in the opponent’s 22 fifteen times to Wales’s nine. They’ve made ten errors, though, (Wales have four) and that’s why they’re losing.
Andy Nicol in the studio says that Scotland should have “double-teamed” Hook to stop the try. Colin Charvis agrees that Scotland should be “jamming in” more. Nicol thinks Sean Lamont has looked “very tasty” this half. Charvis starts talking about “a big old unit in the centre of the park.” He then comments on Byrne’s high tackle: “It’s against the law; just don’t do it. It’s naughty.” Amazing. Why aren’t these two commentating? [Good point; Nicol brings a touch of the “Moore” in his palpable annoyance with his team when they’re being rubbish. He seems (with every right) to be quite cross about now.]
Second Half
The blood substitution of Lamont for Southwell has been upgraded to a formal substitution. Southwell won’t be playing again today. [Or starting again in this Six Nations if Lamont carries on being basically Scotland’s only decent player…]
John Barclay smashes through a Welsh defender, but then spills it in the next tackle. Wales don’t seem to be kicking very well out of hand today. [Very well? I would say the kicking game has yet to approach basic competence. Especially from Mike effing Phillips.]
Cotter thinks Phillips is “vast”. Wales are awarded a penalty just inside the Scottish half, and Hook has a go at it. His kick goes just wide of the posts.
Scotland bring on Low and Blair for Murray and Lawson.
Alastair Kellock’s head is bent down so far in a tackle by Phillips it looks like it should’ve snapped off. [That looked awful, but Kellock seems to just shake it off. Big unit indeed.]
Neither team is doing anything good this half. Cotter and Davies have nothing to say, so they pass it over to Chris Cusiter on the sideline. He doesn’t really have anything to say either. [He should say (or perhaps roar) “I am the best scrum half in this stadium by a bloody mile. Who wants to fight me?” He looks a bit mild-mannered for that though.] Scotland attack, but then lose it. But then get it back, and put some phases together. Davies comments that Sean Lamont (I’m not even supposed to be here today) has been Scotland’s most dangerous runner since coming on for Southwell. We’re up to 13 phases now. And after a couple more Parks gets bored of possession and kicks it to Shane Williams.
Jonathan Thomas comes on for Dan Lydiate (who’s had a great game). Cotter: “Scotland have to try and come again… from deep.” I know, I’m a child. This game has really gone off the boil since half-time. [I think maybe Wales have realised that if Scotland can’t score with a two man advantage, they don’t have to get too tense about defending 15 v 15.]
Shane Williams attempts an attack after calling a mark, but his pass is clearly forward, and Scotland have an attacking scrum. [As that was relatively harmless, let’s hope that his “one” mistake for today, eh?]
Good new BBC stat! Total match scrum time: 8m30s. Also, the BBC’s camera-work has been much better so far this season. They’ve yet to miss any play because they’ve been showing us something off-pitch.
Nothing happens for a bit. Then I wake up, suddenly, as Parks kicks a penalty.
Scotland 6 - 16 Wales
According to Cotter, Bradley Davies is wearing “giant mitts” which the ball has found it’s way into. Can’t be good for the handling, surely. I can’t believe he says so few stupid things I’m reduced to quoting him out of context. [He is the Volvo of commentators. Boxy but safe. Where’s Eddie Butler when you need moronic “insight” to rip into…]
Scotland attack. They get as far as the Welsh 22, but then knock it on.
Scotland have the ball, but then Jamie Roberts nicks it and races down the pitch. He’s brought down in a try-saving tackle by Lamont. [A bit embarrassing for a player who has played international rugby on the wing to get reeled in like that. It’s okay if you’re a forward (see AWJ vs NZ) but Jamie should have scored that.] Wales win a penalty, though, so they go for a drop-goal whilst playing the advantage. It’s charged down, so Hook has another chance to make three points. He makes the kick, and is subbed off for Stephen Jones. John Yapp also comes on for Paul James. [Why?]
Scotland 6 - 19 Wales
Cotter: “And the game is picking up in tempo.” Davies: “Yep. Not skill, but tempo.” [Harsh but fair. This second half has been pretty woeful.]
Scotland make a mistake attacking from their own half. Jonathan Davies spots that the Scotland full-back is out of position, and puts a perfectly weighted chip over the line for Williams to score an easy try. [Shane demonstrates another reason why he has 52 international tries—he has no shame in nicking the ball off the shoelaces of a team-mate who has created the try and grabbing the glory. JD2 does not appear to be cross. I would be.] Wales miss the conversion, though.
Scotland 6 - 24 Wales
With 10 mins left, there’s some more substitutions, and then Wales give away a penalty. Scotland kick to the corner for a line-out.
During half-time, we were shown a clip of Blair attempting unsuccessfully to pass the ball through the mouth of a giant cardboard Brian-Moore-head. [He did get 7 out of 24. I was quite impressed.] Now he’s unsuccessful in his attempts to pass the ball to his team-mates, too. Scotland’s attack goes backwards from just outside the Welsh try-line to the 10m line. Then they chip it to Shane Williams, who runs into touch.
Wales bring on all the rest of their subs. If they don’t get a game their parents will kick up a stink, see?
Scotland give away a penalty with four minutes remaining, letting the pressure off Wales.
Playing for pride, Scotland attack again and again, but they don’t look much like they’re going to score at the moment. Wales give away a penalty with 10s remaining. Jonathan Davies awards man of the match to Sam Warburton [I think Lydiate would have been close had he stayed on.] Scotland run the penalty, and then the game is over.
Final Score: Scotland 6 - 24 Wales
[That is a whupping. And it should have been more.]
In the studio, Charvis thinks that Wales didn’t do anything different in attack from last week. I disagree. They ran some good lines, and there were dummy runners and the good kind of missed passes. And they looked distinctly peppier. But that was all just for the first 20 minutes. [I think those two yellows took the life out of the game—if it had been 13 v 14, Wales may have continued to accumulate points, but as it is they went into their shells, and never had to come out again as Scotland were so inept.] Gabby Logan thinks that Shane Williams was “back to his best” today. I disagree with this, too. He scored two tries, but didn’t create either of them. Other than that, he didn’t do much. [Fair play, he was effective at making Nikki Walker fall over.]
Whilst the studio analysts discuss the many Scottish errors, the BBC put up an amazing graphic at the bottom of the screen:
FT SCO 6 - 24 WAL POOR SCOTLAND
Poor old Scotland.
Conclusion: Wales played well for 20 minutes, and then defended well for the remaining hour. Scotland made a whopping 19 errors. Neither team is going to win the championship. The good news is that my internet connection is much more solid than I thought it was.
[Also a Conclusion: Phillips and Byrne to be dropped for Italy game - if Gatland has got any cojones. Could be a long season for Scotland if they don’t learn that (a) you can’t tackle with your face and (b) you can’t catch with your face.]
