A Partial List of Tango Mistakes Maciej Ceglowski Has Made
- Torso too far forward
- Torso too far back
- Torso technically straight but still just wrong somehow
- Shoulders hunched forward
- Shoulders arched back
- Bouncing while in motion
- Weird panther-like shuffle that kept head unnaturally level
- Knees not bent
- Knees bent too far
- Moved without waiting for partner
- Wrong-footed partner
- Instead of taking smooth steps with the sole of foot gliding along the floor, staggered like Frankenstein monster
- Somehow ended up with partner many meters from dance floor, in construction area in the back of the studio
- Ran partner into table
- Ran partner into mirror
- Ran partner into other dancers
- Ran partner into wall
- Tipped partner over
- Kicked partner in toes
- Kicked partner in side of foot
- Kicked partner in shin
- Stepped on partner’s foot
- Walked directly into partner
- Inadvertently dipped partner
- Struck partner in teeth with shoulder
- Left arm too limp
- Left arm too stiff
- Left arm pumping furiously in air for balance
- Right arm insufficiently firm (the correct position for the man’s right arm in tango is wrapped just far enough around the woman’s back that you feel she is about to file a lawsuit)
- Arms moved independently of torso
- Looked at feet while dancing
- Failed to listen to music
- Did not appear relaxed
Maciej Ceglowski is a programmer, but he is also a tremendous writer, and this article on Argentine Tango is a doozy.
Also highly recommended are his musings on how Argentinians exist on a diet consisting entirely of steak and his hilarious recommendation(?) of Warsaw’s police force.
