Wales vs Ireland
While You Were Gone has been following the Welsh campaign in the 2011 Six Nations tournament. This is the fourth liveblog in the series. As you will no doubt already be aware, text that looks like this was written by me, While You Were Gone, and [text that looks like this] was written by esteemed associate, Tom. Except for that bit just there. That bit was me doing Tom’s voice VENTRILOQUIST style. Okay enough of the small talk let’s get cracking!
I saw the thrilling Italy/France game live on Saturday, but I’m watching the Wales/Ireland game late on Sunday night. This Welshman has his priorities straight! The BBC also have their own priorities, and concentrate on the English campaign in the build-up to the Wales-Ireland match. Then Keith Wood plays Paul O’Connell at golf and Gordon D’Arcy takes the lead in Brian Moore’s Big Mouth with a whopping 10 balls thrown into Brian Moore’s maw. [Which is unarguably the most skilful thing D’Arcy has accomplished with a rugby ball this season.]
James Hook is playing 10 for Wales today. I received some raised eyebrows last match for my claim that centre is the best place for him. Said eyebrow raisers think that he’s most dangerous at outside half, and I agree that—especially given the general lack of pep in our offence currently—his invention is a welcome benefit to the position. On the other hand, I’ve never been 100% convinced by him in the 10 shirt. He never looks like he’s really comfortable there, and can be completely anonymous for games at a time. He is a dangerous runner, but he doesn’t control the game enough for my liking, and can be suspect (positionally) in defence, which is definitely a worry considering his lack of recent game-time at the position. Let’s hope he proves me wrong in this match. [Also he sometimes gets that Byrne-esque glazed/gormless look in his eyes. That worries me. I like Hook at 10, but I still don’t feel Wales have put their best XV out yet this season (principally because Byrne and Phillips keep getting picked).]
Is Warburton really pronounced “Wurbey”? That seems to be how Jonathan Davies says it. [He’s got to have something to mispronounce, and in the absence of French and Italians, Warburton may be the most polysyllabic name he can mangle today…]
Colin Charvis seems to be more on the ball today, chatting on the sideline to Sonya McLaughlin.
Commentating today are Eddie Butler and Phillip Matthews. Jonathan Kaplan? “He is the referee.”
Kick off! Mike Phillips’s first act is to make a pass without running five metres sideways first. Amazing! [Flabbergasting.] Lee Byrne’s first act is to have a kick charged down. Eoin Reddan’s first and only act is to be knocked unconscious because he charged down said kick with his face. [The patented “Scottish Rugby Technique”(TM)—“play the whole game with just your face…”] That looked painful. Stringer comes on to replace him. Ireland win their line-out, drive a maul forwards to within about 10m of the Welsh line, and after another couple of phases O’Driscoll goes over. Uncharacteristically poor defence from Wales, there. O’Gara makes the kick to pass 1000 points in international rugby (I’m amazed to learn that Jonny Wilkinson is the all-time leading scorer), and with 3m30s on the clock the score is:
Wales 0 - 7 Ireland
In attack, Alun Wyn Jones passes the ball straight into touch. Clinical.
After a couple of kicks, Shane Williams makes a mini-break when playing as scrum half. [Perhaps unsurprisingly given my season long downer on Phillips (justified as it is) this prompts me to wish that Shane, or even Halfpenny for that matter, were playing at 9. I bet they wouldn’t make so many appalling box kicks.] Hook then makes a wonderful long kick for touch. Ireland take it quickly and keep play alive.
James Hook makes another great long kick. Prove me wrong!
Bowe gets around Shane on the wing, but Williams chases him down. He used to be a liability in defence, but I actually think he’s pretty solid these days. [Concurred! His defence is excellent, as he plays to his strengths (or rather his lack of strength). I am worried about Shane retiring. Very worried.]
Byrne intercepts an O’Gara kick before it makes touch, boots it down field and forces a Welsh line-out with his chase. That was good. [Byrne and Phillips have done GOOD THINGS. Is it a portent of a happy afternoon? Or does the sun shine on a dog’s arse some days?] The Welsh attack is cut short when Ireland are penalised for not rolling away. Hook’s kick hits the post. Wallace cleans up the ball, and O’Gara kicks for touch. Wales win the line-out, and then another penalty when Best dives over the top of a ruck. From directly in front of the posts, Hook is more accurate this time.
Wales 3 - 7 Ireland
Warburton makes a tackle on Fitzgerald, who passes the ball behind his team-mate. Warburton disengages from the tackle and scoops the ball up on the bounce with one hand. Superb. [He sure is rangy that boy.] Wales have an attack, but elect not to use their overlap. Then in the next phase Shane Williams attempts to leap through a tackle, doesn’t make it, is brought down, and then penalised for not releasing. Hopefully that’ll be his one bone-headed moment for the day.
Minutes later, Wales attack, and Byrne very nearly breaks through the line on the left wing. Instead, Wales are awarded another penalty, and again Hook makes no mistake.
Wales 6 - 7 Ireland
Bowe attempts an attack from their own half. It’s blocked by Halfpenny, and then Rees wins the ball. Great hustle! Wallace turns the ball over, though, and Ireland kick for safety.
Paul James is penalised for not binding in the scrum. [He gives the ref an excellent “who me?” face—good to see he’s mastering the essentials of international front row play at this relatively early stage of his Wales career.] O’Gara makes the kick.
Wales 6 - 10 Ireland
The BBC show us a stat claiming that Wales have conceded zero penalties in their own half, despite us just having watched O’Gara kick one over. Good stuff.
O’Gara chips ahead, and Byrne catches the ball just outside the Welsh try line. He slips over (for the third time this match), and for a second it looks as though Ireland will turn it over in prime position, but somehow Byrne manages not to lose the ball in the ruck. [Eddie Butler says, “Well played Lee Byrne”. Wow, talk about the soft bigotry of lowered expectations… That was essentially, “Well done Lee, you didn’t completely bugger it all up. Only mostly bugger it all up. Congrats.”]
Warburton makes a great catch of a high ball. He’s having a great game. [And a great season. I still want Nugget on the bench though.]
Ireland are penalised for being offside just inside their half and Halfpenny makes the 40m kick (with plenty of room to spare). [Welcome back Leigh!]
Wales 9 - 10 Ireland
Ireland attack, and O’Brien almost scores a remarkable individual try. [Penalty vending machine he may be, but SOB is impressive ball in hand. And SOB is a big SOB as well, undeniably.] He’s held up 5m out, Wales concede a penalty, and during the advantage Fitzgerald fumbles the ball through his legs. Kaplan calls it back, O’Gara makes the kick, and it’s half time.
Half time score: Wales 9 - 13 Ireland
Stats are fairly even at half time. Wales have made more tackles. Ireland have completed more passes.
In the studio, Davies makes the point that Wales haven’t really looked threatening at any point, and Inverdale chips in, “We haven’t seen Hook go <waggles arms around literally like a muppet> have we, at all?” That kind of insight is what makes you the big bucks, John! [He is a complete BAD SWEARWORD that man. How is he still in a job?]
Then we see a little bit of footage of the Italians celebrating at the final whistle after their big win over France. Act like you’ve been there before, boys. [Go say that to Nick Mallet’s face.]
The second half begins with somewhat of a shambles.
Welsh line-out. Ireland turn it over and attack. The BBC elect to go with an extreme close-up from the side-line, with the players entirely obscured by the linesman’s flag.
Kaplan penalises Jonathan Davies for not releasing a ball in a tackle, but the replay shows clearly that he wasn’t held. Boos ring out throughout the Arms Park*. O’Gara is substituted off. We get a shot of him sitting off-pitch whilst play is restarting and so I have no idea how Phillips comes to be running up the left wing. [Reason 1 was a comically sliced clearance from Sexton straight into touch. (So, Declan, how’s that substitution working out for you?) Reason 2 is somewhat more controversial, as it turns out.] I guess Wales took a quick throw-in? Phillips hands off Bowe [right IN HIS FACE] and scores. Apparently the throw-in may have been taken with the wrong ball (which would disallow a quick throw-in) and so the Irish aren’t happy. The touch judge says that it was the correct ball, but the replay shows him to be incorrect. [Paul O’Connell and his big monkey face is amusingly miming a ball shape in the air in front of the ref. Probably not so amusing if you’re Irish.] Eddie Butler displays some uncharacteristic bias, and tries to argue that it wasn’t a quick throw-in. Matthews doesn’t agree [but admirably doesn’t tell Butler where to stick his esoteric theory.] In the meantime, Hook makes the kick.
Wales 16 - 13 Ireland
Ireland attack immediately, and but for a forward pass, would have scored a try. Sexton misses the subsequent penalty. O’Gara seethes quietly on the sideline. [Just look at his silly red face. He looks like Gordon the Green Engine getting just ever so cross in a episode of “Thomas the Tank Engine meets the world’s least likeable (non-English) rugby player”.]
Welsh line-out. Rees appears to have injured his throwing arm. Could be bad news for the Welsh line-out, which I was just thinking is much improved this year. [I would say this game. And maybe the last one. It is going well today though. I might almost use the adjective “professional” to describe the Welsh line-out. How novel. (WYWG: Let’s not go crazy, eh?) ] He hits his jumper though.
There’s a long period where both teams kick the ball back and forth. [The one-line summary of Wales’s tactics so far seems to be “kick it to them”. It’s a variation on “give it to Shane” anyway.]
After an Irish line-out, Ireland string together a long attack, with over ten phases. Then suddenly, Warburton comes streaking out of the defensive line and causes an Irish turnover. Great stuff. [Very great stuff. That was a borderline call to come out of line like that, and Wurbey got it precisely right. Good lad.]
Ireland give away a penalty at a Welsh line-out, and Hook has a chance from about 30 metres out. According to Butler, “Jonathan Kaplan eats the law book for breakfast.” I myself favour Weetabix. Hook makes the kick.
Wales 19 - 13 Ireland
Byrne completely falls over when attempting to gather a high ball. Like a toddler, forwards, onto his face. Luckily the Irish chasers are nowhere near and he has time to recover.
With 7 mins left, Wales put together about ten phases of unimaginative rucking, attempting merely to eat up clock time. [Up till now, its been a dearth of ambition that Wales have suffered from. But starting the pick’n’go in the 73rd minute is surely the actual death of ambition.] I start to feel very sick. Eventually, Hook places a kick into the Irish corner and Ireland are forced to kick for touch. Wales ruck some more. And then Kaplan penalises them for something unclear. Butler thinks it’s simply for excessive negativity. [A decision that would be hard to quibble with.] Ireland kick for an attacking line-out on the Welsh 22.
They win it and attack, but Wales turn it over and Phillips makes a great long kick for touch. Matthews awards Man of the Match to Hook, for his tactical kicking. If Ireland had been ahead at this point I think it’d have gone to D. Wallace. Ireland attack from their own half. A penalty is awarded around the halfway line. Sexton kicks for touch, and Ireland have another attacking line-out which will probably be the last play of the match. They win it and attempt to maul. Kaplan awards them a penalty which they run. Time runs out, with Ireland about five metres out. They continue to attack. Wales blitz in defence, but Ireland evade it and will surely score! But Paddy Wallace cuts inside inexplicably, and Wales turn it over [Fantastic hit by Jamie Roberts, who has otherwise been a bit quiet. Wallace will be seeing the replays in his dreams though poor bloke. Sexton will also know that his team don’t trust him with touchline conversions. A disastrous end to an infuriating game for Ireland.] Shane Williams is screaming frantically at the ref to find out if time is up, and then he picks it up, runs backwards to his own try line and boots the ball into the stands.
Final Score: Wales 19 - 13 Ireland
Sonya McLaughlin interviews Hook and snidely asks him if he has “a view” on whether the Welsh try was scored with the wrong ball. I find the way she seems to think she’s an investigative reporter really irritating. [Now, I don’t find SM as annoying as some seem to, but this line of questioning is risible. What should he say—“Yes we cheated, but the touch judge had a mare, so happy days”? Eejits.]
Conclusion: Another unconvincing display from Wales. Defence looked more porous than previously, and the attack never looked like really breaking the Irish defence. But a win nonetheless. [And in the sort of tight game that we have been losing of late (i.e. last couple of years).] Ireland will rightly be livid at the incorrect decision to allow Phillips’s match-winning try. I am similarly livid that the BBC have returned control over which camera’s footage to display to whichever idiot was running things last year. As well as the incidents already mentioned above, there were many overly inventive camera angles and plenty of way-too-close ups in this match. It’s infuriating.
[Conclusion 2: On the basis of this curate’s egg of a game (being charitable), it’s anyone’s guess as to whether Wales can beat France next week. A theoretical chance of winning the tournament remains—that seemed unlikely, to say the least, in the aftermath of the England game. Plus sides: a win, Hook’s “game-management”, and a competitive performance from the pack. Downsides: 1. Phillips scored so won’t get dropped (and thus taught a lesson about his droppability), 2. This was no advert for the game of rugby.]
Footnote to a fiasco: Oddly, it turns out that the whole “which ball was used?” malarky was a complete red herring, because the rules also state that you can only take a quick throw-in if no-one else has touched the ball. As the ball kicked out clearly bounced into the crowd, and as the ball thrown in by Rees was handed to him by a ball boy, it didn’t matter whether or not they were the same ball.
I was actually thinking this as I watched the match, but presumed that since the commentators and studio team were making such a fuss about which ball it was, the rules must have changed in the many, many years since I last played. That the entire BBC broadcast team seems not to have known a rule any schoolboy player would know is, to say the least, bizarre. The BBC also doesn’t know the difference between a quick throw-in and a quickly taken line-out.
Note that even if it had been the correct ball, it still shouldn’t have been a try, because it was taken from the wrong place. You can read lots of discussion on this incident, and the difference between quick throw-ins and quickly taken line-outs, from people who do know the rules on this forum thread.
