Wales vs Scotland
Here’s WYWG’s down-but-not-out-blog of the Wales vs Scotland match in the Six Nations this Saturday. As in the England vs Wales roundup last week, my comments are in normal, and contributor Tom’s [look like this.]
Unlike last week, I’m actually watching this match live, and, not already knowing the result in advance, I’m feeling pretty excited.
Stephen Jones kicks off and Wales immediately give away a penalty.
Wales win their first lineout. That means they’ve won 100% of their lineouts so far today! Better than last week’s record of 7/12.
Wales squander a good chance inside the Scottish 22.
We’re five minutes in, and so far the quality of rugby has been pretty bad.
Shane Williams running back a high kick, slips over before reaching the first potential tackler. I feel like he does that quite a lot.
Chris Patterson, in his 100th cap for Scotland, is receiving treatment on the pitch. [Chris Patterson has 100 caps! This is remarkable given that he looks like he’s made of balsa wood. Also his ghostly pallor and sunken eyes make him look a bit consumptive. No wonder he’s injured.]
John Barclay runs right through two Welsh players like he’s 1995 Jonah Lomu, and scores a try. [This sort of tackling would get you dropped from the school 3rd XV. For shame Hook & Cooper, for shame.] Wales 0 - 7 Scotland.
Andrew Cotter, the Scottish commentator, claims there’s only 9 minutes remaining. Short game!
Wales win another lineout. 2 of 2! They are giving away every scrum though. Jonathan Davies thinks this is because the referee is being pedantic. Surprisingly, Cotter agrees.
Wales win another lineout (3 of 3!) and Jamie the horse charges through the Scottish line with no Scottish player even attempting to tackle him. Nothing comes of it, though.
15 mins in, a scrum collapses—we’ve yet to have a successful one—and Wales are awarded a penalty, which Stephen Jones converts into 3 points.
Wales 3 - 7 Scotland
Scotland quickly reply with a dropped goal. Wales 3 - 10 Scotland
Immediately from the restart Rory Lamont makes a break, but kicks it too far to really capitalise. The Welsh defense is in disarray. [Some of the Welsh mistakes are truly, deeply infuriating — Scotland really aren’t having to do much to win this at the moment, just play sensible simple rugby. Damn them and their cunning game-plan of basic competence.]
Lee Byrne fumbles the ball, recollects it, and gets rid of it in the nick of time, Williams kicks the ball into touch at roughly the halfway line, Scotland take it quickly and immediately score a try. The BBC cameras are pointing entirely some other direction when Max Evans touches it down, but we get plenty of replays to show that it was clearly a try. Is it too early for me to completely give up hope on this year’s Welsh team?
My friend Rhys sends me a text message. “It’s like the bad old days.”
Stephen Jones kicks another penalty: Wales 6 - 15 Scotland.
25 mins: another collapsed scrum. We’ve still not seen a complete one. It collapses again, and Scotland are awarded a penalty, which Dan Parks easily kicks. 6-18. [Making Dan Parks look good is no easy feat, but it is one which Wales are achieving with aplomb.]
Lee Byrne kicks a clearance about a mile, clear from inside the Welsh 22 to the touchline just inside the Scottish 22. [Nostalgia moment as I imagine Bill McClaren describing it as “coming down with snow on it” — ah, how many Butlers make a McClaren? That maths I can’t do…]
Shane Williams starts a good break and Wales get almost to the Scottish 22 before being awarded a penalty. Chris Patterson is subbed off with an injured shoulder—a disappointing end to his centennial cap—and Jones misses the penalty. [The Scotland doctor will later reveal that Patterson, in addition to the shoulder injury, has “a massive bruise on his kidney”. Ow.]
Dan Parks narrowly misses a second drop goal attempt.
Thom Evans gets absolutely nailed in a tackle, but somehow bounces right back up and breaks the Welsh line. He fumbles the ball though when he’s eventually brought down, and Wales make a break. Andy Powell bizarrely kicks the ball into touch, and the clock is stopped so Evans, still flat on his back, can receive treatment. In the replays it looks as though he took a nasty knock to the head in the second tackle. There’s a long delay, and eventually he’s stretchered off and play resumes with a defensive Scottish lineout.
Cusiter clears, and Wales have an attacking chance just before halftime.
Lee Byrne gets tackled, loses the ball, and then wins it back by flagrantly cheating. This goes uncommented by the commentary team. [Even the Scottish one.]
Errors: Wales 10 - 2 Scotland.
We’re informed that Thom Evans has a leg injury. Glad it’s not a head injury after all. [This turns out after to be a slipped vertebrae in his neck, but one which, thankfully, Evans is expected to make a full recovery from. The Scotland doctor is full of praise for the medical staff at the stadium after - thank goodness they get this stuff right. Evans will be in hospital in Cardiff for most of this week.]
We still haven’t seen a completed scrum. [Hmm, should the ref be penalising someone? A Scottish someone?] Wales receive a penalty with 30 seconds left in the half. Stephen Jones makes this one, and it’s halftime:
Wales 9 - 18 Scotland. [To be only 9 points down is pretty fortuitous for Wales, and not a fair reflection of the balance of power in that half.]
The studio analysts spend most of halftime gushing over Dan Parks’s excellent first half. They also show a very long montage of Wales’s errors. [I compare the variety of Parks’s kicking game thus far favourably with that of “world’s best” Juan Martin Hernandez. My father is distinctly unconvinced by the comparison.]
Second Half
Richie Rees is on for Gareth Cooper [Armchair selectors all over Wales harrumph into their beer and say “I told you so”.] Wales start the half by giving away a penalty. It’s an easy kick for Dan Parks. 9-21 [Blood pressure inches up at the idiocy.]
Scotland don’t exactly look dangerous when they get the ball. They look competent though. Wales are in stark contrast.
Scotland are clear through for a try, but throw it away with a forward pass. Davies: “Forward by a mile. That is a dreadful pass.” [Everyone blames the passer, but the supporting man has overrun it - I care not, as the jig would have been well and truly up for Wales if they scored that.]
44:16. Another collapsed scrum. They still haven’t completed one. It collapses again but the referee is so exasperated he lets it continue. [That’s one explanation — the other being that he doesn’t really know what’s happening.]
Wales turn the ball over at the scrum, but Hook knocks it on 5 metres from the Scottish line. Patterson kicks it clear.
With half an hour remaining Wales are looking little more composed, but still every attack is ending with an error. The Scottish defense looks solid. So does their lineout.
55 mins: A long period of Welsh possession is capped off with a Lee Byrne try, created by Shane Williams. [A bit like Hook’s try against England, Wales’ ability to suddenly turn on the top-drawer rugby is both encouraging and infuriating. I am still mostly infuriated at this point.] Jones misses the difficult kick, but Wales are finally back in the game. 14-21. [Using my magical hindsight goggles, I deem this to be the turning point - it’s as if Wales have collectively just realised, “Oh hang on, this is Scotland, and they’re not actually very good”.]
Ten minutes later, Davies is still talking about Williams’s awareness in creating the overlap which led to the try. To be fair to him, not much else has happened on the pitch. [Wales’ lack of urgency adds another couple of logs to the burning fires of my anger.]
Wales fluff an attacking lineout just outside the Scottish 22 and Scotland make a break. Welsh lineout deep inside their own 22. They win this one though.
Scotland, attacking, have numbers out wide, but decline to use them. They then attempt a drop goal out of desperation. [Commentators decline the opportunity to use the phrase “end-to-end stuff”. How odd.]
Wales have missed about 5 tackles in the past minute and have to defend their own goal-line.
Dan Parks makes a cross field kick and 5’8” Shane Williams makes the catch of the tournament, out-leaping two taller Scots to save the try. [Quite how he achieves this is something of a mystery - the Beeb in their wisdom don’t really show any replays. It seems that the two Scots attackers somehow contrived to actually hoist “little Shane” up there. With a quick recalibration of my magic hindsight goggles, I can clearly see that this, in fact, was the turning point.] After the clearance misses touch [I almost smash the television in a rage, this is SUCH effing torture.] Dan Parks makes a looong drop goal from just inside the Welsh half. 14-24 [Okay, Parks is making himself look good now - that was “a ripper” as I believe they may call it in his native Australia.]
Wales get a penalty and kick for touch. Win lineout. Scotland penalised again. According to the entirely impartial Jonathan Davies, Scotland have made about four yellow card offences so far. Yellow cards awarded: 0. Wales take the scrum.
10 mins left. I feel sick. The scrum fails and is reset about 3 times in a row including once as a Welsh option after a Scottish penalty. [The Scots are milking the ref for time here and Wales seem strangely gormless in their acquiescence.] When it’s finally won it’s against the head. Scotland clear it. Jonathan Davies again calls for a yellow card, and this time he’s right. The Scottish hooker Scott Lawson goes into the sin-bin for the rest of the match.
Wales fluff another lineout but win the ball back. Scotland defend ferociously. Jamie Roberts gets through the line for an apparent try but it’s called back (correctly) for obstruction.
Wales keep applying pressure though, and eventually spin it out for a try. Halfpenny has the composure to get under the posts before touching it down, and it’s 21-24 with 3 minutes left. Davies awards man of the match to Dan Parks.
Wales attack again. Roberts breaks the line, Byrne kicks the ball ahead and is knocked over by Godman, who is sin-binned. [There will be endless bitching and whining about this decision by Scotland and their English coach after the game (in a most unpleasant Ferguson/Wenger type manner). I however, as an impartial observer, can say with absolute even-handedness that Phil(thy) Godman is lucky it wasn’t straight red and a penalty try, and that he is a filthy, lying cheat, and his whole family should be banned from everything forever.] Wales are three points down with 43 seconds left. They kick the penalty 24-24.
Scotland restart with 0 seconds on the clock and 13 men.
Wales attack again and again, tying up Scottish defenders. You can hear Jonathan Davies screaming in the commentary box. And then Scotland have run out of players and Shane Williams scores beneath the posts and I’m screaming too. [Pre-scoring celebrations by Shane give an entire nation a moment of deepest dread (and for a split second I actually HATE him - then he scores and I LOVE him).]
Final Score: Wales 31 - 24 Scotland
Conclusion: Scotland played error free rugby for about 65 minutes. Wales only competed for 15 minutes, and came away with a frankly, undeserved win. I’m ecstatic, but feel bad for the Scots. They really deserved more than that. Jonathan Davies is the least impartial man in rugby. [And there is fierce competition for that title.] [Also, you have never seen a more miserable man of the match than Dan Parks, doing the post-match interview with his medal dangling limply round his neck. Bereft, the poor sod. At least they don’t give him his bottle of RBS-branded champagne live on camera — that might have been a bit much.]
[Epilogue: Evans T, Lamont R and Patterson are out for the rest of the tournament. That is really injury to insult for Scotland, as I’m not sure they’ve got the depth in the backs to cover those losses. They may well fancy themselves against England though, especially after watching them sleepwalk to a win in Rome.]
[Epilogue II: Welsh back-row donkey Andy Powell got arrested for drunk-driving a golf buggy on the motorway after the team “celebrations”. Now, I’m not a huge Powell fan, but kudos for some old-school rule-breaking.]
