France vs Wales
It’s the final match of the final weekend of the Six Nations tournament, and WYWG is going to liveblog every exciting minute for you! By which WYWG means that WYWG will watch it on BBC iPlayer late on Sunday night, and post ~2,500 words on it several days after the tournament is over. As always, my words are unadorned, and those of WYWG-contributor Tom [are surrounded by square brackets and italicised, thus.]
The BBC have dubbed last week’s fiasco “ball-gate.” Ugh. They also still haven’t figured out that there are three reasons that the controversial throw-in shouldn’t have been allowed, or the difference between a lineout and a quick throw-in.
Wales have travelled without their defensive coach, Shaun Edwards [due to a mystery “disciplinary” issue]. Jiffy doesn’t think it’ll be a problem because they’re professionals. [Hmmm…] Martyn Williams is in the studio as an analyst. Let’s hope he’s as good at talking about rugby as he is at playing it. [That is a big ask.]
Shane Williams won’t be playing today. The 18 year old George North will be taking his place, and, as Gabby Logan points out, apparently wearing his shirt, too. [This comment is accompanied by disturbing footage of young North warming up in what appears to be a crop-top. Maybe that’s what all the kids wear these days.] Jonathan Davies describes him as “a big lump.” [That is correct, if not particularly insightful from JD1.]
If Wales can beat France by 27 points then they will win the whole shebang! Gabby Logan wonders whether Wales should try to get the points or just concentrate on the win. I will be surprised, to say the least, if a situation presents itself where they get to make the choice. [Martyn Williams, praise be upon him, refuses to rule it out as a possibility.]
Andrew Cotter and Jonathan Davies are your commentary team. Craig Joubert is the ref. [The pre-game shot of the commentators in their eyrie reveals that Cotter looks like a man in a Specsavers advert. (WYWG: That surprised me too! He really does look nothing like he sounds.) JD1, as always, looks a bit like a car salesman on a windswept lot.]
Wales make the first attack, and after only a minute played are awarded a penalty as France go offside. Jonathan Davies seems to have been boning up on the Welsh players and now knows how to pronounce Warburton. [Joubert, you’d imagine, has spent the week boning up on the lineout laws…] Hook makes the kick.
France 0 - 3 Wales
Trinh-Duc tests Lee Byrne with a high ball. He falls flat on his back, and France poke a kick through into the corner. [The thought occurs, has Lee Byrne been playing drunk this season? He doesn’t half fall over a lot.] Hook manages not to lose the ball, but is bundled into touch for a French lineout. They win the ball, and maul to within a few metres of the Welsh try-line. In the ensuing ruck, Paul James is penalised for not rolling away. Parra makes the kick. [Parra is a man who quite literally could not look more French. This is to be applauded.]
France 3 - 3 Wales
Wales take a lineout, but we don’t get to see it, because the BBC, having learnt nothing from last week, are showing us an extreme close-up replay of a ruck.
The French game-plan appears to be just to kick it a lot and hope that Wales mess up. It seems to be working well so far. Wales win a penalty at a scrum, Phillips takes it quickly, and then they win another one. While we wait for the kick, Warburton receives a little bit of treatment. Cotter: “Martyn Williams is taking off his make-up and warming up.” [Oh please let that be true.] Hook pulls the kick.
Phillips makes a string of passes sans sideways run. Maybe he can’t do that after the first few minutes of the game because his arms get too tired. France win a defensive lineout, but the ball pops out of the side of the maul. Paul James can’t believe his luck and picks it up. Wales immediately give away a penalty, and Warburton is subbed off with a knee injury. Jonathan Thomas is his replacement. [He is no Martyn Williams, and a Welsh back row that already has their hands full against the possibly peerless combo of Bonnaire, Dusatoir and Harrynordonkey will now be distinctly up against it. Hard not find fault with the coaches for their bench selections here.]
Wales squander an overlap with a missed pass. Then they lose the ball. France can’t do anything with it, and Trinh-Duc eventually kicks it away. Lee Byrne then does a “Lee Byrne”, and kicks the ball straight into touch from just outside his own 22. Does he actually not know that rule? [I cannot even summon the energy to get angry with Byrne any more. His loss of form is mystifying and depressing. His retention of the 15 shirt even more so.]
France are counter-rucking ferociously today. They win the ball around the halfway line and surge forward. Then they give away a penalty, though, for diving over a ruck.
Serge Betsen thinks the Welsh defence is “good, good, good.” Jonathan Davies thinks “both defences are working really well.” [Can’t disagree, although Wales look a bit sloppy when in possession. Perhaps the effect of kicking it away all game against Ireland.]
After 23 mins, Mike Phillips’s arms are tired. Wales have an attack in which a pass goes behind its target, bounces around while they all stand around watching it, and then goes into touch. Wales then win the French lineout, and then give away a penalty. [Okay, “sloppy” was perhaps not strong enough.] Jonathan Davies thinks the game is getting a “little bit scrappy.” Just a little bit? Both teams are, as he said earlier, defending well, but neither is doing much else well. [Bar the aforementioned French counter-rucking, which is mighty effective.]
Play restarts after a break, and continues for a good ten seconds before the BBC deign to show us any of it. Instead we get to watch a Mexican Wave going around the Stade de France. Seriously, whoever is in charge of rugby coverage at the BBC, sack your video editors, throw away all your cameras apart from one, and just show us a mid-range view of the pitch at all times. Please, I’m begging you.
Wales attack, Byrne makes a great [and lovely] quick pass to Halfpenny, but Trinh-Duc makes a try-saving tap tackle. [And I don’t think it is any way wishful thinking or ludicrous hindsight to suggest that this was the turning point. Leigh under the posts, French heads down, 27 points here we come. That would definitely have happened. Bloody good tackle.]
Wales appear to win a scrum, but are penalised by Joubert. Davies is incredulous.
France set up a very effective maul at the Welsh 22, which gets up almost to the try-line before Wales collapse it and concede a penalty. The kick is on the wrong side of the pitch for the left-footed Parra, and he narrowly misses it.
Phillips gets pulled into a ruck. Adam Jones waves off Ryan Jones, and plays scrum-half. He makes a good long pass, too. [Sir Adam Jones, avoider of pies and barbers, please join the long list of people I would pick at the 9 ahead of Mike Phillips!]
Then France steal [read, walk through the middle of a ruck and saunter off with] the ball and attack quickly. Nallet fakes out Hook and scores the try. [I have an inkling that Hook may have preferred to buy that dummy rather than tackle the rampaging psycho lumberjack Nallet at that point. Either way, he ended up looking a bit soft.] Somehow, I’ve missed a French penalty at some point. Or maybe the BBC just gave us a crowd shot instead of showing it. Either way, the score before the try was 6-3. The kick is on the right side of the pitch for Parra this time, but he misses it anyway.
France 11 - 3 Wales
With time run out, Wales are awarded a penalty on their own 10 yard line. James Hook consults with the side line, and then kicks the ball into touch to end the half. [Now is it me, or is this just appalling conservatism. No time to kick to touch, too far to kick for goal—tap and go you big wet blankets! At least have a go!]
Half time score: France 11 - 3 Wales
Stats! France have had 59% of possession, and have turned the ball over 4 times. They’ve also won 44 rucks to Wales’s 26. [That tells the story of the half I’d say.] On the upside, if Wales can win the second half by 35 points, they’ll win the whole tournament!
We see Trinh-Duc’s try-saving tackle multiple times from different angles. Gabby Logan: “It’s lovely when you see a tap tackle work, isn’t it?” Can’t say I enjoyed that one particularly, no, Gabby.
Second Half
Bonnaire is penalised for rolling around on the floor and tripping up Phillips. Hook’s kick is good, and now Wales only need to score 32 unanswered points to win the tournament.
France 11 - 6 Wales
Immediately after the restart, Hook has a kick charged down and Nallet scores another try. [Two in a season would be a good return for Nallet. Two in ten minutes suggest a Wales team who really aren’t quite at the races today.] This kick is almost directly in front of the posts, and Parra hits it. [At this point, Rich’s comments about centre being the best place for Hook may need revisiting.]
France 18 - 6 Wales
Dusautoir smashes Hook in a tackle. Wales keep the ball though, and a couple of phases later, Wales are awarded a penalty. Andrew Cotter “sees Neil Jenkins drifting around in the background,” [like a balding ginger ghostie] and Hook makes the kick. Lets hope France don’t score another immediate try after this one!
France 18 - 9 Wales
George North attempts to run from deep inside his own 22 with no support. Ballsy. But unsuccessful. Wales kick, France attack, and Wales give away a penalty. Parra knocks it over.
France 21 - 9 Wales
Adam Jones goes off, presumably exhausted, and Yapp comes on.
Traille attempts a drop-goal, but misses. [He is the French Lee Byrne—used to be great, now a liability.] The Welsh defence has been outstanding most of the tournament when it has a chance to set up. Pity it’s been so susceptible to counter-attacks, though. [Which observation, to my mind, highlights one of Wales’ biggest problems, when following the plans from the blackboard, they are competent (okay, borderline competent), but they are actually getting worse at playing what’s in front of them, or adapting the plans mid-game. See the inability to get more bodies to the breakdown to stymie the French counter-ruck today. Very frustrating.]
All of a sudden, Hook makes a break, and Byrne carries it on, evading several defenders before he is brought down. Then Bradley Davies knocks it on.
Hook is sin binned for a dangerous (and late) tackle. Apparently he lifted a player “beyond horizontal” and then dropped him. We see a replay, and I’m inclined to agree with Davies that it’s a harsh decision. Actually, Davies thinks it’s “pathetic… absolutely rubbish.” He also thinks it’s “ridiculous”, and “ludicrous”.
Almost immediately, Trinh-Duc puts a little chip over the Welsh defence, and Vincent Clerc catches it to score the try. Clinical. [Playing with their heads up. A mixed bag from FTD this season, but that chip and the between-the-legs pass against Scotland were two touches of real class.]
France 28 - 9 Wales
The good news is, if Wales can score 44 points in the last 20 mins, and not concede any, they’ll win the Six Nations!
Roberts bursts through the line, with Jonathan Davies in support. They get as far as the try line, but can’t score. Bizarrely, with Wales needing quick ball from the ruck, Roberts is content to hang around by the goalposts, watching. Wales are awarded a penalty, run it, but then give a penalty away.
Again North decides to run from just outside his own try line with no support. This time he gets as far as the halfway line. [At which point he has two behatted compadres in support—in the red scrum cap, weighing in at “A LOT” and really quite slow, Alun Wyn Jones. In the white scrum cap, weighing in at “NOT A LOT” and really very fast and elusive, Leigh Halfpenny. Choose the white cap young man! This will be the try of the season, and some recompense for the tonking we’re taking today. Oh…] But Alun Wyn Jones attempts an ill-advised pass over the French defenders and the attack fizzles out. [Good on George though, he is giving it the proverbial lash.]
Hook’s sin bin period ends, but he won’t play again this tournament. Jones comes on instead, for his 99th cap. Hibbard and Peel come on for Rees and Phillips. France bring on some subs too.
Roberts makes another line-break. Peel’s pass is a joy to behold after suffering through a whole season of Phillips’s out-of-form scrum-halfery. [I could not concur more heartily.] Wales win a penalty, and kick for touch, but France turn it over after the lineout.
Davies: “I think they’ve definitely won the contact area tonight, France.” You think, Jiffy?
France bring on some more subs, and then some more.
Hibbard, thinking about challenging for a high ball, but realising he’s not quite close enough, skips like a little girl instead.
France bring on another sub, Tomas for Parra.
The fresh legs seem to do them good, they attack and get within inches of scoring, but Vincent Clerc grounds the ball just short as he stretches for the try-line, and then slides into touch. Rougerie would’ve scored that. Length is so important in the modern game. France concede a penalty at the lineout.
Wales attack and now Dwayne Peel’s got tired arms too.
Bradley Davies, having been tackled, realises that France are about to win yet another counter-ruck, and throws the ball from the ground to Ryan Jones, who is several yards away. Good awareness. (Although I still don’t understand why holding on to the ball for a bit and then passing it doesn’t count as “not releasing” in the modern game.)
The Man of the Match award is given to Nallet by the French announcers.
The clock runs out with a couple of fairly disorganised scrums. Joubert gives Wales a penalty, which they take quickly, but from nowhere near the mark. Joubert calls them back, and Jones boots it into touch. [This is like the end of the first half. The supposed risk is that France will get the ball and score again. The theoretical reward is that we will score and give the scoreboard a vaguely respectable veneer. Instead we give up and kick it out, as if to say “please can we go home now?” Depressing.]
Final Score: France 28 - 9 Wales
Pretty dissatisfying tournament for all concerned, I’d imagine, every team having at least one duff game. [A little less dissatisfying for the English though, sad to say.] Particularly for the Welsh though, who started the game with a chance to finish in first place, and ended it in fourth. [Also because they continue to select the team on reputation over form, and as a result Byrne & Phillips remain in the team, and the Hook conundrum remains unsolved. In order to get their best 7 backs on the field, Hook can’t play 10. And we’ve missed our best chance to give Roberts, Hook, Halfpenny or whoever a run at 15 ahead of the World Cup. Perhaps the conservative strategy will get us past the group stage, which given the low bar, would be progress of sorts. Yes, depressing.]
Conclusion: The World Cup will be won by a Southern hemisphere team.
[Conclusion 2: Gethin is back soon—and he will score the drop goal that wins the World Cup for Wales! Oh yes he will…]
